Excuse me – Did You Pick Up The Wrong Script?
Well-meaning parents, friends and teachers have moulded you into their vision of how you ‘should’ be. By the way, I realise parents get a bad press, but you should know that although your parents said they ‘had your interests at heart’ in fact, they lied.
What they had (quite rightly) was their own interests at heart. They wanted glittering, intelligent, happy, well-adjusted and successful children for their own selfish pleasure, not yours. So let’s just get that straight.
I’m not saying this is wrong. In fact I think it’s very, very right. But it’s worth cutting out the “we did it for your own good” bullshit, don’t you feel? It always rang a bit hollow, in any case. In the hundreds of consultations I have done, I know this strikes a deep chord with many people.
Okay, what’s the alternative to living someone else’s life? There is only one – waking up and living your OWN life. It can be a frightening (but liberating) process to wake up and realise that maybe you’ve been acting-out someone else’s script, not your own. This can be scary because often there’s a yawning void inside when you first ask the question: “Alright, so which part do I really want to play?” Often the response is a faintly whistling wind and few giant tumbleweeds being blown along main street! Nada. Das Nicht. Maybe a faint, mocking echo: “HELLO… hello… hello? Is there anyone IN THERE… in there… in there?”
You see, you’re just not used to asking yourself this question. You’re used to asking: “What do other people want from me? Tell me what I have to do to please you!”
We spend our days like frenzied poodles snapping sugar cubes off people’s noses. Bolt onto this a low self-esteem problem (which is rampant in our culture, but interestingly, almost unknown in other cultures) and you have the added disadvantage of this sort of message: “What’s the point in finding out what I want to do anyway? I’m not really worth it in any case. Others get the good things in life, not me.”
Is this your programming? Can you change it?